THE ACHE IS SWEET

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We embark on the journey exhausted. Increasingly, a gazillion details interrupt our sleep, and we need this vacation the way an overstimulated toddler needs sleep after a day with too many birthday parties.

Unbeknownst to us, the Uber ride from our home to the MIA airport, sets the unusual tone for the whole trip: “You’re a pastor? I need a pastor,” our driver comments, as he initiates conversation and then entrusts us with the fractured pieces of his broken life and his longing for faith, for God.

As does our taxi driver in Paris, as does a store owner in Helsingør, and eventually a waitress in a castle we visit. Foggy and fatigued though our heads may be, we see a theme unfold:

There’s a tangible thirst for God.

It’s unexpected light breaking through to our weary souls on this journey back to my roots.

Descending upon the country that boasts the happiest people on earth is a shocking encounter with comfort and ease. Renewing my Danish passport is as simple as stepping into an old friend’s living room, complete with candles and free coffee, and they even rushed it at no additional charge.

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But somehow the gentle efficiency everywhere discombobulates me. After 24 years, vivacious Miami chaos has become my norm, and this orderly, well-oiled machine feels almost suffocating. A too-warm comforter caressing weary travelers, but also offering lullabies when one needs to stay awake…

I feel my spirit slightly out of focus.
Though I gratefully drink deeply of the generous, nourishing love of my family and friends, thoroughly soaking in the kind of intimacy that only grows after decades of honest life together, I feel slightly off balance.

My cherished Copenhagen has moved on without me. I have to stare intently at the currency to distinguish the different coins from each other, and I realize that many of the young people in the street weren’t even born when I left.

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Still, in the cobble stones, I hear the sounds that so enticed me as a little girl. In the red roofs and centuries-old green church spires, I sense the history that drew from me the vow to one day live here. It looked so different through my childhood eyes, and I don’t know how to process the schism between then and now.

Suddenly this ancient city seems so fragile. As do I. Suddenly this charming world seems so small, so temporary. I feel like a falling leaf that doesn’t know where to land.

Into this internal swirl, the many encounters of strangers seeking us out without even knowing why, penetrate like rays of early morning sunshine. There’s a greater world calling, our Creator stirring in many an awakening to His unseen presence. The invisible arousing dormant echoes in hearts of those, for whom visible comfort is not enough.

I keep shaking my head to align those realms.

The last day, we return to Jensens Bøfhus, a little Steakhouse in Hillerød, overlooking another magnificent castle, drawing my heart to my King.

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That night, my father tells us more memories from escaping Nazi Germany, and I watch him reliving that terrible hunger, which cigarettes only superficially eased. Though it’s been more than ten years since we buried her together, I feel my mother’s smile, as we listen. I hear her soft laugh….

The way Danish voices caressed my vagabond soul when we first boarded the Copenhagen-bound plane in Paris, American twang now touches me the exact same sweet way in the same airport.

Neither and both are home for me.

On this opposite route across the Atlantic, something inside me returns into focus, as I watch Helen Mirren’s character return to Vienna in “Woman in Gold.” The way past and present blend together to the voice of an old cello, but still don’t satisfy the aching for Home – in the scene of a Jewish wedding dance, I glimpse and feel the tug from the eternal again. The ache is sweet.

ELISABET FOUNTAIN

A former lesbian, Elisabet Fountain has spent three decades in global ministry connecting the Word of God with the unique design of every woman. A native of Copenhagen, Denmark, and the daughter of a refugee, Elisabet enjoys exploring the intersections of culture and Kingdom in communities around the world. Her particular passion is inviting women to see how the colorful, nuanced Words in the Bible speak directly to the unique design and purpose of their souls.

Trained by Youth With a Mission (YWAM), Elisabet’s ministry service has led her from the Ucayali jungle of Peru and rural Mindanao, Philippines, to the cities of Antigua, Guatemala, and San Jose, Costa Rica. 

Elisabet currently leads the thriving women’s ministry, Oasis, at Calvary Chapel Miami Beach, a church she and her husband planted in 1993. Elisabet is featured on 70 radio stations across the United States each week. She also shares weekly Bible studies with nearly 2,000 sisters on Facebook. Her messages are regularly translated into Spanish, and they inspire women of all languages and nationalities to see how the eternal Word can speak into their lives and circumstances. 

After a few years as empty nesters, Elisabet and her husband now share their tiny house with two grown sons and two grandchildren, while her brilliant best friend across the street keeps the household fed and flourishing.


HTTP://WWW.ELISABETFOUNTAIN.COM
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WHEN YOUR SOUL FEELS SQUEEZED