COME FILL THE GAP ELISABET FOUNTAIN COME FILL THE GAP ELISABET FOUNTAIN

THE GIRL WHO RAISED ME

The night of my first conversation with her father, her name was his answer to my question, which he later confessed had annoyed him: “Was is your favorite word in the English language?”

In my defense, I had only been in his country a week, and words fascinate me. He fascinates me.

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COME FILL THE GAP ELISABET FOUNTAIN COME FILL THE GAP ELISABET FOUNTAIN

BECOMING MAMA

Survival has been my mode for so long that I just assumed it’s what life requires. Not that less is demanded of me now, but like a dog sniffing into the autumn wind, I’m sensing a change.

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COME FILL THE GAP ELISABET FOUNTAIN COME FILL THE GAP ELISABET FOUNTAIN

PAUSING

I almost missed this lunch with me daughter. After a season of unexpected responsibilities piling upon my already overflowing plate, I felt ground down with any sense of fun and freedom morphed into to-do lists. It is our first day of spring break, and I have already budgeted every minute of every day.

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COME FILL THE GAP, JOURNAL, MOTHERHOOD ELISABET FOUNTAIN COME FILL THE GAP, JOURNAL, MOTHERHOOD ELISABET FOUNTAIN

EXPANDING SOULS

The browning Christmas tree awaits its final fate at the curb. It’s the kind of grey January day that signals the return to schedules, alarm clocks, routine. I like it. I find beauty in the constants. But after weeks of family sleeping everywhere and tripping in line outside our one bathroom, an aching emptiness throbs in my throat.

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COME FILL THE GAP, JOURNAL, DEVOTION ELISABET FOUNTAIN COME FILL THE GAP, JOURNAL, DEVOTION ELISABET FOUNTAIN

FALLING INTO GRACE

I just turned 47. After more than two decades in America, I still haven’t grasped why it’s considered impolite to ask a woman her age. I am so relieved not to be 17! The world was spinning then, as an Alice-in -Wonderland concoction of disconnected experiments, and I didn’t know where to find solid ground.

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