LIVING WITH CANCER

Waiting is a womb pregnant with hope and fear. Worst case scenarios wrestle with words of promise, and through it, a deeper yielding grows inside.

Days away from my biopsy result, my soul senses what my head knows: so many, many sisters populate this space of feeling alone with the painfully personal process, and yet sensing the union of shared vulnerability. The warm awareness where “me” becomes “we” eases the sting of private pain. It’s not mine, it’s ours.

This dreaded sisterhood expands daily. Faces and phases of women I love in the throes of cancer beckon me to explore their experiences. How has this disease of decay mined such spiritual strength that their souls flourish as their bodies are frail?

This question becomes a thirst. I must drink from their wisdom, and so I ask:

Danna (left) Janet Linda

HOW DOES CANCER AFFECT YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD?
Danna: “Christian or not, it is difficult to receive this diagnosis. ‘Are we going to die?’ ‘What will happen to our family?’ are natural, human concerns. But knowing God means trusting that for Him nothing is impossible. Although we can neither see him nor touch him, knowing he is real becomes a lifeline. Through this difficult and painful journey, God sustains us the way we do for our children; with love and care. He has a plan for each one of us.”

Janet: “He gives me peace and the faith to know that He is in control and that He always has the last word. He has never abandoned me. He provides all of my needs. God gives me grace and favor with others”

Perhaps our perceived self-sufficiency within our comfortable routines blinds us to God’s vitally meticulous involvement, but cancer obliterates that illusion. He who formed us in our mothers’ wombs is holding us together in His Fatherly hands, and we would fall to pieces if He let go.

“The Lord your God, who goes before you, He will fight for you, according to all He did for you in Egypt before your eyes, and in the wilderness where you saw how the Lord your God carried you, as a man carries his son, in all the way that you went until you came to this place.’” (Deuteronomy 1:29-31)

WHAT WOULD YOU SAY TO SOMEONE AT THE BEGINNING OF THIS JOURNEY?
Danna: “It is normal to feel fear and sadness and to want to ask a lot of questions, but we can’t forget that God is always with us. It doesn’t matter what the results are, nor what the doctors say, because God has the last word. Besides, you aren’t alone; you have your family and friends! Everything will be okay, even in this difficult time.”

Janet: “Keep positive and hold tight to a good attitude. Take one day at a time, sometimes one minute at a time. Decide not to anticipate anything, such as side effects from the treatments; deal with them as they come. Sometimes they don’t come and energy is wasted on worrying. Being diagnosed with cancer doesn’t mean a death sentence. Embrace life and all the beauty that it has to offer.” (This from one who has battled the disease for more than 18 years.)

HOW DO YOU MAKE IT THROUGH DARK NIGHTS OF PAIN AND FEAR?
Danna: “No matter how awful I feel, singing to God gives me energy. Where faith is my daily nutrition, worship is my vitamin B12-shot.”

Worshipping through pain is the river of life through their stories. When suffering strangles the body, praise enables the spirit to escape that cage and soar in a strength I have yet to discover. I have seen the splashes of that living water in their eyes, drops of eternity creating reservoirs in their souls.

I don’t have cancer. But I will still die. And so will you.

Obviously relieved by my biopsy result, I am now challenged by these warriors to truly live. Janet captures each new sunrise in photographs; Danna creates exquisite beauty in her appearance, looking every bit the inspiration she is, and Linda travels the world, sharing her passion for freedom in Christ like never before.

I will live.
Their elixir, worship and the Word of God, is available to us all. I think the degree of its effect depends on the level of thirst.

Ultimately, we are waiting for Life itself to begin.
“For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us. For the earnest expectation of the creation eagerly waits for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it in hope; because the creation itself also will be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation groans and labors with birth pangs together until now. Not only that, but we also who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, eagerly waiting for the adoption, the redemption of our body.” (Romans 8:18-23)

Scriptures recommended by my sources:

“Bless the Lord, O my soul;
And all that is within me, bless His holy name!
Bless the Lord, O my soul,
And forget not all His benefits:
Who forgives all your iniquities,
Who heals all your diseases,
Who redeems your life from destruction,
Who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies,
Who satisfies your mouth with good things,
So that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.”
(Psalms 103:1-5)

“For I will restore health to you
And heal you of your wounds,’ says the Lord,
‘Because they called you an outcast saying:
“This is Zion; no one seeks her.” ’”
(Jeremiah 30:17)

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” (Philippians 4:6)

I would love to hear your comments and experiences! Please share, and let’s link arms in this.