AGELESS DUALITY
I am pondering the idea of public image. Not for the famous paparazzi-hunted few, but for us regular people, for whom the constantly emerging social media seem a necessary connection to our world. Technically challenged and philosophically old, I resisted Facebook and even e-mail for a long time. Handwritten letters are deeper, I argued. A public forum will steal any sense of intimacy, I feared.
But eventually, the benefits of revived contact with a wide sphere of old friends and easy updates from new ones proved irresistible. And I am glad. What, after all, would be the point of a purist approach to relationships, if I were the only one left to pursue it? Why resist the realm where my loved ones express themselves?
Since then, I admit I’ve even been found attempting to persuade others to join the cyber society that has authentically enriched my life. I treasure the friends it reconnected me with, and their photographed lives bring a priceless sense of being with them. Togetherness. Concerned responses on my own wall when they perceive nuances of pain in my posts bring real comfort. I am genuinely grateful to be part of this community.
Still, I grabble with the inevitability of a creating a image. Somewhere (online), I read that the ever-appetizing pictures of gorgeous meals have reduced our enjoyment of non-photographed food. Another source described that our perceived cyber identity is directly measured by the attractiveness-level of the people and places in our posts. “If you don’t have at least 11 “likes” on your status, you have to delete it. That’s too embarrassing,” a teenage friend informed me.
Assuming this is all true (how do we verify these assertions?), the old-fashioned side of me fears for a society where these are mild consequences of our cellular-serviced lifestyle. More sinister (and better documented) reports of deteriorating concentration from the constant e-terruptions and inabilities to have one on one conversations in real life without simultaneous tweeting and status-checking deepen the concern. What really is the price for toddlers playing with iPads instead of people or toys?
But the younger, progressive women inside me marvels with my kids at the emerging apps, many designed exactly for improving the communication I so value. Though he and I have no idea how it actually works, my 90-year-old grandfather across the Atlantic Ocean and I do appreciate reading each other’s expression on FaceTime, as much as we treasure a letter in that familiar handwriting shipped across the same ocean. Each serves a different purpose. Ironically, the modern technology shows me mercilessly how much he has aged while the old-fashioned snail-mail contains only his ageless soul.
The wrestling within eases, as I realize that creating a public image is at least as ancient a concept as the Tower of Babel: “ Come, let us make a name for ourselves… ” (Genesis 11:4)
As with most of human behavior, it can be used for selfish purposes or to serve others. While a self-aggrandizing image is repulsive to most of us, politeness can be much more merciful than rudeness in the name of honesty.
Perhaps most images are not really lies, but rather expressions of what we wished were true. As such, aren’t they still reflecting our core values? The public persona of someone portraying a glamorous night life is vastly different from that of an earthy outdoor type – as different as the flesh and blood personalities more or less consciously crafting them.
The soul is far too complex to be easily defined; rather than pinning it down in search of authenticity like a butterfly on display, I resolve to appreciate the beauty of its mystery afresh.
So… I’ll post this and hope you like it.
